Have a Heart
by Dudette13
Summary: It's Christmas, yet Lily feels bored and alone. All her friends have gone home for the holidays, and she's stuck at Hogwarts with no one to keep her company but a lovestruck Pothead and his friends...
1. Fireworks and Roses

**Disclaimer:** Oh how I wish I was J.K.Rowling, and owned all the Harry Potter characters so I could write and publish whatever I wanted to about them…. But I don't. SO GET USED TO IT!

**A/N:** A bit of pointless LilyJames fluff. I was thinking of writing a RonHermione or HarryGinny Christmas fic like this one, but the mistletoe thing (you'll see) was more like James than Ron or Harry, so I changed it to the Marauders time instead of the Trio's. Anyway, you're probably sick of me babbling, so without further ado… enjoy!

"What _are_ you wearing, pothead?" asked Lily, looking at James across the table, an expression of distaste on her face. He was wearing a woollen jumper of bright green – not very flattering.

James rolled his eyes. "M'dear old Mum's knitting. Why, Don't you like it, Evans? Want me to take it off?" he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Ugh." Lily went back to her breakfast to hide a small smile. He really never stopped trying. Since the beginning of their seventh year, Lily had found it hard to conceal how much she had started liking James… and not just as a friend, either.

James and Sirius were now having a muttered discussion, and kept glancing in her direction. She thought she caught the phrases "…girl's don't like…" and "…doesn't think ruffling your hair…". Peter was shovelling down platefuls of food, oblivious to anything going on around him, and Remus was sighing with his head in his hands and mouthing "Idiots."

Laughing at the four boys reactions, she finished her breakfast and left the Great Hall. Lily missed her friends, who had all gone home for Christmas. Lily would have gone home too, but she didn't want to face her sister, Petunia, again, who became more and more unbearable with each time Lily saw her.

"Merry Christmas, Severus!" she called out to Severus Snape, who was making his way to the Great Hall. Severus made a face at her and did not respond, but continued walking.

"Arse" she muttered, making her way to the library. The best part about going to the library during the holidays was that she was the only one, minus Remus, of the few remaining students who ever went there.

Lily read for hours, until dinner. She crammed as many books as she could carry into her bags so she could read in the common room - the library closed at six thirty during the holidays.

The first thing she noticed as she entered the Hall was that James had taken off his new jumper. He glanced quickly at Lily to see if she had a comment on his attire, and then continued his discussion with Peter.

There was a lot for dinner, as usual on Christmas Day. Turkey, Ham, Pudding as well as lots more stuffed Lily's stomach. She looked round at the four boys opposite her and realised that, most unusually, they were being fairly quiet and murmuring to each other in low voices.

Curious, Lily leant back in her chair and listened to the marauders' (or so they called themselves) conversation.

"…Snivellus won't expect it in a million years! We gotta take the chance, Moony. Please?" Sirius pleaded.

"Oh, alright. But don't blame it on me if we get caught."

"Excellent!" said James.

"So, if all goes well, then…" Peter started.

"Snape gets humiliated." Sirius butted in.

"And if we're lucky we take down some his friends with him!" exclaimed James.

"Er, _what_ friends, James?" asked Remus.

"Good point." Said James.

The three other boys started laughing. Lily let out a reluctant giggle at James' words. They turned around to look at her.

"Lily? Were you _eavesdropping_ on us?" said Peter in awe. The other three were gaping too; amazed that Lily would ever do anything un-prefectish.

James looked confused for a moment, and then extremely happy about something.

"Uhhh, C'mon guys, let's put some more work into the map." James said, although Lily could tell there was another reason he wanted to see the boys without her there.

"What map?" enquired Lily.

"Oh… nothing." Said James and Sirius together.

"Bye, Lily." Added Remus.

Lily had the common room to herself that evening. She, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, a couple of first years and a third year were the only Gryffindors that had stayed throughout the break. This meant that she had plenty of room to practise her spellwork, and plenty of comfortable armchairs to read on.

After a time, the portrait hole opened and Lily looked up from her book to see who it was. Sure enough, the boys were back. They were slowly tiptoeing up to their dormitory, until;

"Where_ were _you guys? It's twelve thirty!"

The boys jumped. They hadn't seen Lily.

"Oh, um…" Peter started

"If we told you, you wouldn't believe us." Stated Sirius simply, pocketing a blank piece of parchment.

"Try me."

"You'd tell us off." said James. Sirius issued a cough which sounded and awful lot like 'prefect'.

"Remus is a _prefect_" (she coughed on the word 'prefect', just as Sirius had done) "too, and he didn't tell you off!" said Lily.

"Yeah well, technically, we weren't doing anything wrong." Remus commented.

"Apart from being out late." pointed out Lily, frowning, her hands on her hips.

"Oh, come on, Evans! Have a heart! It's Christmas!" exclaimed James.

"Fine, I'll have a heart if you help me put all these books away." She told them, indicating the dozens of books littered around her.

"And if the answer is no…?"

"I'll tell Professor McGonagall you four were out until twelve thirty."

"Harsh." Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment.

"OK." Said James.

Sirius began walking up the staircase followed by Remus and Peter.

"Hey! Just where do you think _you're_ going!"

"Up to bed, not against the law, is it?" said Peter.

"But you said you'd help me with these books!"

"No, we said _James_ would help you with the books." Remus explained.

"But- But I was talking to all of you!" she panicked. Lily didn't want to be left alone with… JAMES! Sure, she fancied him, but she wanted to work out how to tell him that in her _own_ time, not his!

"Sorry, we thought you were talking to him. See you up there, Prongs." Sirius added, and winked at James.

"Prongs?" she snickered.

James bent down and started picking up her books. Lily, resigned to the worst, bent down to help him.

"Why were you reading this?" asked James. He was holding up an Arithmancy text book.

"I take Arithmancy, Pothead." She retorted quickly.

"No, I mean, why were you reading a school book on the holidays?"

Lily laughed. James looked funny. "I love it when you laugh." He told her.

It shocked Lily so much that James would say something as serious and affectionate as this that she was unable to say anything for a second, and dropped the books she was holding.

James picked them up almost as quickly as she had dropped them. He placed them in one of her may book bags.

"Well, thanks." Said Lily awkwardly, when they had finished.

"You are very welcome." James told her. They both stood up. Then James pointed at the ceiling.

"Mistletoe."

"Where?" said Lily, very alarmed, yet strangely excited. Her heart was hammering very fast. Then it slowed. She could not see any mistletoe.

"Here." James took some mistletoe out of his pocket and positioned it above their heads.

Lily had no more than a heartbeat of warning, and the next thing she new, James had placed his lips upon hers. Fireworks set off and roses bloomed behind her eyes. It was amazing, it was magical, and it was wonderful.

It was scary, but in a good way, to find out how much she enjoyed being kissed by James. She realised now that James was the one, that he had been the one for a very long time. James placed the arm which was not holding the mistletoe around her and she felt a tingling inside. She put her arms around him too.

Lily could have stood there in bliss for all of eternity, but too soon, though it must have been a fair few minutes later, James broke apart from her, smiling slightly.

"Merry Christmas, Lily."

"Merry Christmas, James."

**A/N:** I might add another chapter in James' POV _after_ the kiss, or maybe just what happens afterwards to both of them… I dunno. I'm going to be pretty bored for a while because my summer holidays started today, so I'll probably write some more chapters. Also, I'd just like to add that I missed out lunch ON PURPOSE, I just couldn't be bothered to write it in.


	2. The Best Night of His Entire Life

**A/N:** First of all I want to say a HUGE thankyou to LilJester, Queen of tears and phoenixtear19. You guys are so cool, thanks for reviewing and inspiring me to write more! I'm flattered, I really am. You don't know how nice it is to get reviews from strangers until it actually happens to you.

**Disclaimer:** I've said it before and I'll say it again, **I did not write the Harry Potter books, nor am I J.K.Rowling.** Don't sue me!

James watched Lily climb the stairs. He waited until he saw her reach the top and heard her close the door and then…

"SCORE!" James punched his fist in the air and did a little victory dance. He'd never been so happy. He had just kissed Lily Evans. He had just kissed LILY EVANS. He had just KISSED Lily Evans. HE had just kissed Lily Evans. HE HAD JUST KISSED LILY EVANS!

And what was more; Lily had just called him James! Not Potter, not Pothead, JAMES! That was a sign she ENJOYED it! Oh man, this was definitely the best night of his entire life.

"Me and Lily sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G." he recited to himself. "First comes our love, then comes our marriage, then comes our baby boy sitting in a carriage!"

With a silly smile on his face after narrating a rhyme he hadn't used since the age of seven, he ascended the staircase into his own dormitory.

"What's got _you_ so happy, then?" asked Remus slyly, narrowing his eyes as James walked into the room.

"Yeah, you were only helping Lily put away her books!" Said Peter.

"Or _were _you?" said Sirius, grinning mischievously.

James hesitated. Lily might want their kiss to be kept private. But he stomped on his own fear. Even if Lily didn't want everyone in the school to know, he could still tell his three best mates! They wouldn't tell anyone if he asked them not to, It was just like the time Sirius told them that he told a girl that his... well, it was best not to think about that right now.

"Well, what do _you_ think, then, Oh Padfoot, expert on all that is girls?" said James sarcastically.

"I think you need to thank me for thinking of the excuse to get you alone with her and giving you the best night of your life." Wow. He was good.

"Were you spying on me and Lily, guys?" he asked them all suspiciously.

"No." they said in unison.

"Are you a Leligimens, Padfoot?" he asked Sirius, even more suspicious now.

"Nup."

"THEN HOW THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU KNOW I HAD THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE JUST NOW?" James half yelled.

"As you say, I'm an expert on all that is girls." Sirius smirked.

"Oh, shut up."

"Did you kiss her?" asked Peter eagerly.

"No duh." Said Sirius before James could respond

"And what did Lily do?" asked Remus curiously.

"At first, nothing. She sort of stood there in shock. And then, after a while she wrapped her arms around me. And then, after we broke apart, she said 'Goodnight JAMES.'!"

Sirius wolf whistled, Peter looked up at him admiringly and Remus stared.

"Wow. That's not like Lily at all. She must _really_ like you, James."

"Er… thanks, Moony." Nothing could stop James from smiling.

"So that's it? You just kissed her?" enquired Peter frantically.

"Well, not really." James reminisced. "We'd finished packing up her stuff, and we both stood up and she said thanks for helping her. We were about to go up to bed when I pointed up to the roof and said 'Mistletoe'. And she said 'Where?'(because there isn't any mistletoe in the whole common room, let alone above where we were standing). So I'm like, 'Here', and I took that mistletoe from the Christmas crackers out of my pocket and put it above our heads and… well, you guys know the rest." Said James very quickly, and in one breath.

"I have to admit, that whole mistletoe thing was a good idea." Said Sirius. "But now I can't try it out till next Christmas, when we won't even BE at Hogwarts anymore! Oh, this sucks."

James laughed loudly with Peter and Remus. He was in a very good mood. "Thanks, Sirius, I'll take that as a compliment."

"How do you recon Lily will act tomorrow?" said Remus thoughtfully. James froze. He hadn't thought about that.

Sirius seemed to notice his apprehensive expression. "Don't worry, Prongs, mate. She'll be cool. If you ask her to go out with you in a day or two, you'll be acting like a couple within the week."

James merely blinked, amazed at the knowledge Sirius possessed on the topic.

"Congratulations, James!" squeaked Peter, who had become extremely exited.

"Yeah, it's your dream come true, you finally kissed Evans!" said Sirius. "Took you long enough!"

"Good on you." Remus smiled in an amused sort of way.

"What are you smiling at?" Asked Sirius.

"It's just… hard to explain. You know the expression 'Opposites Attract'?"

"Er… no." said James

"Nup." Replied Peter.

"Never heard of it." Sirius told him.

Remus sighed, still smiling. "Never mind, then." The four boys climbed into their beds and bade each other goodnight.

James lay awake for some hours after he collapsed into bed. He kept reliving the kiss in his mind and couldn't wait to see Lily again tomorrow.

Soon James began to wonder why he was so happy. It was only one kiss under the mistletoe. But, then again, that one kiss was enough to make it the best night of his entire life.

**A/N:** You know, this story is really starting to grow on me. It started off as a oneshot; let me tell you, it sure ain't a oneshot anymore! Thanks again to the reviewers I mentioned above, you gave me assurance that people were enjoying my story!


	3. Boxing Day

**A/N:** Hokay… This chapter takes place the next day, and we are back to Lily's point of view. Oh yeah, a big thankyou to my new reviewers, PremzaWitchOfWeirdos, EboniteEvans and xEngulfedInDarknessx. I love reviews! You guys rock.

**Disclaimer:** You think J.K.Rowling would spend her precious time writing fanfics? She'd be too busy writing the actual books! At least I hope so…

Lily woke up extremely happy. It took her a moment to remember why she was feeling so good, and then she remembered all about the books, the mistletoe and the kiss…

What would James say at breakfast? A smile came to her face when she remembered her discussion with James during breakfast the day before.

Lily had a shower, brushed her teeth, got dressed (quite carefully, so as to impress a certain someone) and walked down to the Great Hall. She settled herself, once again, opposite the boys. With a glance at the four of them she realised James had told them about what had happened last night. She didn't mind, they would have found out anyway, and the boys were nice, even with all the mischief they got themselves into.

"Morning, James. Morning, Remus. Morning, Sirius. Morning, Peter." She greeted them all.

"Morning, Lily." They chorused. Lily laughed at being addressed by them as though a teacher.

Breakfast was a fairly comfortable affair. It felt so nice to be able to take off the 'I hate you, pothead' pretence and be at peace with the four of them.

"What are you going to do today then, Lily?" asked Remus. "Go to the library again?"

"Yep."

"You can hang out with us if you like." Said James.

"Prongs!" Said Sirius indignantly. "I thought we were going to… uh" he glanced at Lily nervously "Do what we discussed yesterday!"

"Yeah, but if Lily wants to-"

"It's OK, Guys. Do your prank thing, I don't mind. Really, I don't." added Lily, as James opened his mouth to speak. She was telling the truth, she didn't mind going to the library.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, James. I've been doing the same thing every other day of the holidays, anyway. I'll be in the library if you need me."

She smiled at James across the table so he knew she wasn't annoyed at them. James grinned back at her and ruffled his hair automatically. Lily sighed and shook her head. Some people never changed.

"We'll see you later then." Said Peter, and they left her sitting alone.

Lily had a very similar time in the library to the one she had yesterday. The only difference was that her thoughts kept drifting back to James. She started by reading the Arithmancy text book he had asked her about, but found it hard to concentrate as the words "I love it when you laugh." kept finding their way into her head.

It was insane! Yesterday he was Pothead-who-she-liked-but-hated-at-the-same-time. Today he was James-who-kissed-her-under-the-mistletoe-last-night. Amazing what one little kiss could do, really.

After a long while it was, once again, time for dinner. She made her way to the Great Hall slowly, due to the many books weighing her down.

"Lily! To what do we owe the pleasure?" asked Remus when she came in, dragging her bag behind her.

"Library… Books… Heavy…" she puffed, collapsing onto a chair. On cue, the golden plates and goblets filled and Lily began to help herself to roast chicken.

Dinner wasn't very interesting that night. It wasmuch the same as breakfast, Lily was on good terms with James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, and they chatted as though best friends. When the last of the food disappeared, Lily remembered the books she had checked out and groaned.

"What's up?" asked Peter.

"The ceiling." Said Lily. "But that's not what I'm annoyed at. I have to carry all these books up to Gryffindor tower!"

Hint hint, nudge nudge, James!

"I'll help you." Said James cheerfully.

"Thanks, James." Lily was happy James had taken the hint, and was also glad that the other boys had caught on, too.

"We'll see you in the Common Room. Good luck with those books." Said Sirius, eyeing the bulging bag.

James grabbed the bag and Lily felt distinctly awkward. They were both silent as they walked up to Gryffindor Tower, unsure what to expect.

"So… how was the library?"

"Fine, fine…" Lily felt even more embarrassed now.

"Cool."

After a couple of minutes, they reached the marble staircase. Lily was about to begin walking up when she saw James fall forwards out of the corner of her eye.

Laughing, Lily looked down to see James lying spread-eagled on the stairs, her heavy bag resting on his chest. He had obviously not realised they had reached the marble staircase, and tripped up on the first step.

"Are – you – OK?" she managed to gasp out between laughs.

"Not really. Thanks for your sympathy."

"Here, let me help you." She pulled the bag off his chest and held out her hand to him to help him up.

"Thanks." Said James.

"I'll carry these the rest of the way if you like." Offered Lily.

"Nah, it's OK. Your books have given me _amazing_ luck lately."

"Really?" asked Lily, confused.

"Yeah. I mean, I was helping you with them last night before I kissed you, wasn't I?" Lily refrained from giggling. It was the lamest pick up line she had ever heard!

"Well, thankyou. It was a, erm, wonderful night for me, too."

For the first time in Lily's living memory, James flushed. Lily couldn't help it this time, she giggled, ruining the romantic atmosphere.

James chose to ignore her. "And I was just wondering… well, do you want to go out with me sometime?" It was amazing that, despite how many times James had asked Lily this question lazily, how hard it seemed for him to pluck up the courage and asked her seriously.

"Sure. When did you have in mind?"

"Oh, um… how about Saturday?" It really was cute, Lily decided, how relieved James looked.

"This Saturday?"

"Er, yeah." James looked worried now.

"Sure, Saturday's fine." She told James, and he breathed a sigh of what Lily interpreted to be relief.

Then he kissed her again. Lily was caught by surprise, with no time to protest that they were in the middle of a corridor where anyone could find them. It was a proper kiss this time, with _both_ James arms pressing her into him. It was a much shorter kiss, however, than the one under the mistletoe, and they broke apart in what seemed like no time.

After about another minute they reached the portrait hole. The Fat Lady looked flabbergasted at the site of them walking together without yells of "Pothead" and "Evans" ringing down the hall.

"Jellylegs." Said James, and the Fat Lady, still dumbstruck, swung forwards.

"Night, James." She kissed him on the cheek. There were wolf-whistles from the small amount of Gryffindors, including Sirius, Remus and Peter.

"G'night, Lily." Said James dreamily, as he touched the spot she had kissed him. After a few moments he jolted back to life.

"Up to bed already? It's only eight thirty!"

"Yeah, well. I couldn't get to sleep last night." _Cause I was thinking about you the whole night._

"Want me to come up and tuck you in?" More wolf whistles.

Lily rolled her eyes. How could _this_ be the man she loved?

Oh… who was she kidding?

**A/N:** This chapter was difficult to write, I had aboutfour goes at a third chapter before I came up with the ideas for this version (During my Tae-kwon Do class, I might add). I guess it was harder because this chapter was pretty important. I've got plans for this story… BIG plans…

P.S. Please review!


	4. Why, Lord?

**A/N:** And we're back to James' POV! Sorry, I promise I won't keep switching each chapter like this! I'd like to express my appreciation to theonlywitchwritingtomuggles. I have _seven_ reviews for this story! SEVEN! You people make me so happy.

James smiled happily slumped down on an armchair near the other three marauders. They looked at him questioningly.

"Well, I took your advice, I asked her out." James told Sirius.

"See? Always know what I'm doing, don't I? Never let you down, have I?" Sirius said proudly.

"Yeah, you have, actually. Like when you said a Bertie Botts Every Flavour Bean was peppermint when actually it was puke." Said James. Sirius smiled reminiscently, an evil gleam in his eye.

"Or the time James used that pick up line, like you told him to, on Lily and he got slapped." Peter contributed.

"Yeah, well…"

"Or the time you told him the wrong incantation for a spell that would 'impress' Lily, and he ended up setting her hair on fire." Remus added.

"Where are you going on your date?" Sirius changed the subject as quickly as possible.

"No idea. Hogsmeade obviously, but there's only on place there I can think of there that's appropriate."

"Where?" Peter asked.

"Madam Puddifoots Teashop." Said Sirius and James in unison.

"Makes me want to throw up." James continued.

"OK, so we'll scratch Madam Puddifoots off the list of possible places. Let's look at it logically. Hmm, exactly when is this date?" said Remus in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Saturday." The atmosphere between them changed immediately. Sirius looked shocked, Peter gasped and Remus dropped the quill he had been using, creating a large blotch of ink in the middle of his essay.

James began to feel as though he was missing something. There was a long, awkward pause.

"This Saturday?" asked Sirius finally.

"Yes."

"As in the day after tomorrow?" Peter wanted to know.

"Uh-Huh."

"Saturday the 28th of December?" it was Remus asking him the questions now.

"YES, THAT SATURDAY!" James yelled, causing the only other people in the common room, two first years, to jump.

"James, you moron! Saturday is Full Moon!" this caused James to look horrified.

"What? C'mon, Padfoot. You've got to be kidding me. You've just got to be! Tell me you're kidding!" he pleaded weakly.

"It's OK, James. You can go on your date with Lily, we don't-" Remus started.

"It doesn't work like that, Moony! It's hard for both of us to calm you down, let alone me by myself. You're a freakin' werewolf, for God's sake!" Sirius whispered sharply.

"Oh, thanks, Sirius. You're making me feel so much better about my forced transformations."

"Don't take it like that, I was just trying to explain it to you. You don't get it because-"

"Yeah, I know, because 'I'm a freakin' werewolf'"

"I wasn't _going_ to say-"

"GUYS! STOP IT!" Sirius and Remus turned around to face James. "This is about Lily and me."

"So what're you doing to do?" Peter asked.

James took a deep breath. "I guess I'll have to explain to Lily that I can't go on Saturday. Don't worry, Remus. I won't tell her about your furry little problem." Remus grinned.

"Poor James. Poor, poor James." Sirius sympathised.

"What?" asked James.

"I know girls, mate. She's not going to be happy."

"This is _not_ good. How should I tell her, Sirius?"

"There's no easy way to break it to her that you don't want to go on a date anymore."

"But I _do_ want to!" said James indignantly.

"How is she going to know that?" asked Remus.

James' grief looked beyond tears. "Why, Lord? Why do you have to punish me like this?" Sirius patted his back awkwardly.

"Sorry, James." Said Peter. But nothing could comfort James now. The most wonderful thing that had ever happened to him was slowly slipping away…

**A/N:** Very short, I know, but essential to the plot. I must express my apologies that I'm not going to be able to update for a week, as I'm going for a holiday. But I'll be writing them there, but I'm not allowed to bring my computer, so I have to HANDWRITE it! This has got to show you my determination to write this story! Anyway, there should be a good amount for you to read when I get back, so see you all next Monday.


	5. Ripped to Pieces

**A/N:** This chapter was _handwritten_ on my holiday! Show me some sympathy! Oh, how I missed my laptop! How I yearned to post this chapter! At least I got a few reviews while I was away though, so thanks to xEngulfedInDarknessx (again) and russianchikk.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, never has been, never will be.

"G'morning, James!" Lily called, as she sat down to breakfast. The other boys exchanged glances.

"What's wrong?" she asked, noticing the looks on their faces.

"Nothing." They all responded quickly. Lily shrugged and helped herself to scrambled eggs.

As breakfast went on, however, it became increasingly obvious that there _was_ something wrong… with James at least. He was unusually quiet, and stared at his feet most of the time.

Remus, Sirius and Peter wore looks of knowing at James' depression, but this didn't comfort Lily at all. On the contrary, it just annoyed her even more.

She looked at him worriedly. James saw her face and tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. Lily bit her lip. What was wrong with him?

"I'm off, see you later." She told them, and left the Great Hall. She was half way to the library when she decided that she didn't feel like reading for the entire day, and turned around and walked towards the Entrance Hall.

As she stepped outside the castle walls the wind began to whip at her face, her hair flying everywhere. Still unsure about what she was going to do all day, she walked across the grounds.

One happy thought kept swimming around in her head. _I'm going out with James tomorrow night! I'm going out with James tomorrow night! _She only hopped that he was slightly happier than he was today…

Suddenly panic exploded in her mind. What if that was why James was so out of it! What if he didn't want to go out with her anymore! She took a deep breath and told herself that it couldn't be true.

Dinner time, and James was just as downhearted as at breakfast. Lily opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, and then closed it again. _It's none of my business_. She thought. _If I need to know, he'll tell me_.

As she was thinking about this in the common room, James himself came up to her.

"Lily, can I talk to you a minute?" Lily turned from the fire to look at him. It appeared her questions were about to be answered.

"Oh, sure." He led her to the corner of the common room. James took a deep breath.

"You, uh… You know about Saturday?" he started.

"Yeah."

"Well… Look, Lily, I'm really sorry, but I, uh, can't make it anymore."

"What?" Lily felt faint.

"I… can't come anymore."

"Why not?" said Lily, a hint of anger in her voice.

"Something came up and I just… can't get out of it."

"Yeah? What is it?"

"I, um, can't tell you. I'm really, really sor-"

"Sorry, are you?" Lily refrained from shouting. "Well, what _I_ don't get is why you can't tell me what has 'come up'!"

"I… er… promised."

"PROMISED?" Lily laughed mirthlessly. "Promised WHO, exactly?"

"I kind of can't say that, either."

"Really? _Why_ can't you say?"

"I-"

"Let me guess! You _promised_. You know what I think? I think this whole thing was a joke you and your mates cooked up! Off you go, and have a laugh with Sirius about it!" Lily felt white hot with rage, yet there was a terrible, aching sadness underneath all the anger. She felt her eyes prickling.

"Why have I been trying to go out with you for _years_, then, if I think it's all a joke?" retorted James, now firing up too.

"Good point, James. Why, although you've wanted _so_ much to go out with me, did something _impossible_ to tell me about appear out of no where at the same time as out first date? What could be happening, anyway? It's the holidays!"

"WHY'D I _KISS_ _YOU_, THEN?" yelled James.

"WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME?" Lily had lost control now. She was shouting at the top of her voice, and hot tears were streaming thick and fast down her face. "MAYBE YOU THINK IT'S FUN TO TOY WITH GIRLS EMOTIONS! OR MAYBE YOU JUST WANTED ME FOR-"

"Lily," James cut in, in what seemed the calmest voice possible. "Can't we just reschedule?"

Lily blinked at him. She stared at him for several long moments, then

SLAP! She hit him on the cheek with all the strength she could muster. Then, without another word, she stormed up the stairs to her dormitory and slammed the door.

Lily went to go and sit on her bed, shaking with uncontrollable sobs. Why'd he have to be suck a jerk? Why'd ALL boys have to be such jerks? WHAT COULD COME UP ANYWAY? IT WAS THE FREAKING HOLIDAYS! You could tell he was lying, the insensitive, horrible little toerag.

"I – hate – him." She wept. "I HATE him!" She punched her pillow over and over.

Why had he lied? As much as she hated to admit it, James was right, he _had_ wanted to go out with her for, like, ever. So why had he made up an excuse to get out of it? He'd probably only wanted her for the same reason pretty much all males wanted females…

"He's just a loser. I'm better off without him." She told herself sternly. "I'm just going to read a book, and forget this whole stupid thing ever happened."

She turned to the large pile of books she kept by her bedside table. Of course, on the top _had_ to be the Arithmancy book she'd been obsessing over.

Lily's throat suddenly hurt and tears threatened, but she bit her lip, determined to stay strong. She shoved the book of the desk, and found what she was looking for, an interesting novel about wizards in ancient times.

One of the chapters was about a mentally subnormal wizard called Black. Wondering if he was related to Sirius, she chuckled, then remembered the past half hour.

"_Oh, C'mon, Evans! Have a Heart!"_ Those words had started everything. Well, she'd had a heart, and he'd ripped it to pieces…

She put the book down, switched off the reading lamp and turned around in bed to face the wall, uttering a small sob.

As Lily cried herself to sleep that night, she thought about _him_. Why did he have to go and spoil everything? Well, she was going to prove he was lying. She was going to get revenge. She was going to sneak up on him in his dormitory tomorrow, and MAKE him confess to lying. And then she was going to hit him. Hard.

He'd made her feel, for the first time in her life, that she was special. That she was worth something. Every time he asked her out was like a spirit raiser to her, it kept her going. She should have known he didn't really like her. She was just plain, boring, muggle-born Lily Evans, and that's all she ever would be.

**A/N:** Hee hee! This chapter was soooo much fun to write… God - I _am_ evil! Another short one, do you think I'll _ever _write a chapter again as long as the first one? Lily was a bit out of character, I know, but she needs to get mad, it's important to the 'big plans' I mentioned in Chapter 3 (which you've probably worked out by now, anyway).


	6. Familiar Voices

**A/N:** Hey! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, it's writers block mixed with Christmas mixed with the-fact-that-my-computer-power-cords-aren't-working-so-I-have-to-try-to-persuade-my-Dad-to-let-me-work-on-his-laptop. OK, I know you don't care! On with the story!

**Disclaimer:** If you think that J.K.Rowling would seriously write a crappy fanfic like this one, I suggest you see a doctor about that mental problem you've got yourself very, VERY soon.

"Soo… Remus. Have you finished that essay on The Draught of The Living Death for Slughorn?" asked Lily. Remus, who was looking pale and extremely ill, did not respond.

It was dinner on Saturday the 28th of December. Lily had been cooly ignoring James (and Sirius) all day. James smiled sheepishly at her across the table. She took no notice.

"Remus!" Lily half yelled, pounding her fist on the table. Remus moved his gaze from the cloudy ceiling to her and blinked.

"What?"

"I _said_, have you finished that essay for Slughorn? Look, are you alright? You don't seem yourself."

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine… just fine." Said Remus absent-mindedly. Peter glanced nervously at him across the table, and Sirius mouthed something. Remus nodded at Sirius and said "I'd better go." with a jerk of his head towards the ceiling.

"Sure. We'll see you later." Said James with a grin. Lily felt extremely confused. Why was Remus leaving so early? And why weren't the other three going with him?

"Where-?" she began to ask, forgetting momentarily that she was not speaking to James or Sirius.

James grinned again. "Yes?"

"Shove off." She glared. James looked truly ashamed as he looked down at his plate. Lily bit her lip. No matter what she had told herself otherwise, she really _did_ wish James had been sincere.

What would she be doing right now if James hadn't cancelled? What would James have planned in Hogsmeade? Where would she and James be, if-

_I must be going completely mental! I'm obsessed with him, and hate him at the same time! Why do I still like him if I know he regarded me as a joke? WHY is everything so confusing?_

"We'd best be off, too." Said Sirius to James and Peter.

"Sure." Sighed James sadly.

"Later, Lily." Said Peter.

"Huh? Oh… bye." Now Lily had nothing to do but finish off her chicken casserole in silence. She then left and walked to Gryffindor Tower.

"Password?" asked the Fat Lady.

"Jelly Legs. No wait, they changed it. Plenus Lunar."

The Fat Lady swung forward and Lily entered the common room to find it completely empty. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were obviously already up in the dormitory.

She walked across the common room and took a deep breath. _OK, Lily. Calm down._ She told herself. _You're not stealing a broomstick. You're not robbing Gringotts. You're not even painting a fish and chip shop orange! You' re just walking up there and slapping James… that's pretty much it! So pull yourself together and Go. Up. There._

Slowly she climbed the stairs and peered through the door into the seventh year dormitory. There was no one in there.

"Where are they?" she wondered aloud.

Had she made a terrible mistake? Was James really busy? Had something really happened to make it impossible for him to come on their date anymore? As she was pondering this, she heard a familiar voice mutter;

"Lily?" Lily whipped around, but there was still, apparently, no one there.

"Shut up!" a different voice shushed.

"Who's there?" murmured Lily. There was no answer. _A head girl should do her job._ Her conscience told her. _You should find out who it is and why they're invisible._

She began to feel around blindly for someone she couldn't see, when suddenly her foot found something firm. There was a gasp of pain… and an "Ow!" but this time it wasn't just a familiar voice. She had heard that gasp many a time in Defence Against the Dark Arts. This time she knew who the voice belonged to – Peter. And where there was Peter, there was;

"JAMES!" Lily yelled. "I KNOW YOU'RE HERE, AND I JUST _KNOW_ YOU'RE UP TO NO GOOD! SHOW YOURSELF!" The only response Lily received was a faint sound of feet shuffling towards the staircase.

Lily swore under her breath and began to run down the stairs. She got to the bottom just in time to see the Fat Lady's painting over the portrait hole close.

With a scream of rage, she shoved the doorway open ("How rude!" said the Fat Lady). Panting and staring around madly, she realised the situation she was in. There was no way of knowing where James and the others had gone.

She had two options. On the one hand, she could either give up and go back, or on the other, she could go after them and get her revenge on him.

All the anger and sadness inside her told her to take the second option, so, without having any idea where she was going, she ran down the marble staircase…

**A/N:** soooooo short! I'm making a promise that Chapter 9 will be at least 1500 words, on my honour, or may I be chopped up and made into soup. (Oh, BTW, sorry about the orange fish and chip shop thing – personal joke.)


	7. Dog, Rat and Stag

**A/N:** Er… I kind of forgot my start-of-the-chapter-thankyous last time! I'll just thank xEngulfedInDarknessx (again!), PremzaWitchOfWeirdos (again), rupertisahottie05 and russianchikk (again) now, then. Anyway… I know I kind of copied J.K.R's chapter name 'Cat, Rat and Dog' from PoA, but I couldn't think of another one. So there.

**Disclaimer:** Yeah… right.

"Eww, Sirius, your breath stinks." Said Peter.

"Yeah, well, yours doesn't exactly smell like a bouquet of roses."

James, Peter and Sirius were walking slowly together underneath James' invisibility cloak. They had to walk slowly, otherwise the cloak would be sure to come off, they were getting too large for it to cover them all properly like it used to.

"How could she have known it was me?" wondered James, and he, Sirius and Peter shuffled down the Entrance Hall. Sirius and Peter didn't have to ask who he was talking about.

"Dunno, mate, but that was a close shave. Thank God for your invisibility cloak." Said Sirius.

"But _how _did she know it was me? I mean, we _were_ invisible, after all."

"Why are you asking _us_?" said Peter. "We don't know!"

"I want to know how she knew-"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?" yelled Sirius.

"Sorry" mumbled James. "But we didn't make _that_ much noise. I just want to know how she was aware of our (well, my) presence." Their conversation had taken them out of the castle and on to the grounds. The grass was damp and springy underfoot as they crossed the grounds, heading for the Whomping Willow.

"Well, let's think. Who made a noise just before she yelled James' name out?" Said Sirius, glaring at Peter.

"Hey! It wasn't my fault!" squeaked Peter. "She stepped on my foot! And it hurt, too! Stupid Lily."

"Are you insulting the love of my life?" James whipped out his wand.

"No! I, er… _meant_ to say… um-"

"Sshh!" whispered Sirius suddenly. James turned to see the school's matron striding up to the castle. Peter stopped uttering excuses as she passed them by.

"Anyway… who says Evans is the love of your life?" asked Sirius, as soon as Madam Pomfrey was out of earshot.

"Me." Said James, as though this settled the matter. "And I'm hers, too."

"Yeah, of course, because slapping people in the face is a sign of undying affection for them." Sirius put on a high pitched voice. "_Oh, James! I love you so much I'm going to yell at the top of my lungs at you!_" James raised a fist in warning. Sirius ignored it. "_Oh James! Whenever I call you a fathead it really means I have the hots for you! Oh, James! I refuse all of your date offers, yet I am truly yearning for you with all my heart! Oh, James!_ _I_- OUCH! What was that for?"

"For making fun of me. She loves me and you know it."

"I do not know it."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"We're here." Pointed out Peter glumly.

"Do no- Oh, right." Said Sirius. There was a pause in which James and Sirius stared at Peter.

"Poke the knot on the trunk, already!"

"Oh yeah." Said Peter, comprehension dawning on his face. He transformed into a rat and scrambled out from under the cloak. Magically, the Whomping Willow froze.

James sighed and looked up at the sky. If it weren't for the stupid moon he'd be in Hogsmeade with Lily. Why did she have to get so angry? How could she possibly think he _wasn't_ madly in love with her?

Something cold and wet touched James' leg. A black, shaggy dog was pressing its nose against his shin and looking up at him impatiently.

"Alright, I'm coming." James felt the familiar, warm, tingling sensation he usually experienced when transforming into a stag. His head grew heavier from supporting antlers and his arms became legs.

The invisibility cloak now lying forgotten on the grass, James followed Sirius to the Whomping Willow with a heavy heart.

He was dwelling on his bad luck when there was a loud, frantic squeak at his feet. Peter was running around frantically, jerking his tiny, rat head towards the castle. Sirius turned around, too, and gave a meaningful bark.

Alarmed, James turned around to see the doors of the castle open. Light flooded from inside, and it took a while for James' eyes to register the brightness. Someone was standing in the doorway, slowly coming in to focus. James froze.

It was, unmistakably, Lily Evans.

**A/N:** Dun, dun, dunnnnnnnn! Ok, yes, extremely predictable, but I love writing this, so you can't stop me even if you _do_ review and say you'd rather teach giraffes how to speak French than read one more word. I'd rather get that review than none, anyway, so just click that little grey button in the corner! I'm begging you!


	8. Must Be Dreaming

**A/N:** OK, as usual, I'm gunna say that PremzaWitchOfWeirdos, russianchikk, rupertisahottie05 (I hope you really are joking!) and Ebonite Evans rock! Yes, any who… onto the chapter. This is back to where we left off with Lily at the end of Chapter 6 – when she'd just run down the stairs. It's going to be a short chapter because, well, poor Lily doesn't have anyone to talk to (to make the chapter longer) and I can't prattle on for when she sees James/the stag beside the Whomping Willow – because that's next chapter. Well, she will _see_ him, but… OK, OK, I'll shut up now.

**Disclaimer:** (Sniff) You actually think I'm that wondrous goddess who wrote the HP Books? (Tears of Happiness)

Lily reached the bottom of the marble staircase and blinked around, as though she thought James had somehow become visible. She strained her ears to listen for the faintest whisper, the smallest sound, but heard nothing but the loud thumping of her own heart – which wasn't thumping because of anger anymore.

A new emotion had overtaken her. Panic. What if she was caught? Or what if it really _hadn't_ been James, and she had just been paranoid because of all that happened in the past few days? What if there hadn't really been anyone there – How could he have become invisible, anyway? Was she going crazy?

_Oh, I give up. I must've imagined it all._ Thought Lily, butsuddenly, out of the blue, sheheard a voice (that she recognised as Sirius') yell; "WILL YOU SHUT UP?"

_That settles it. I can't have imagined it, not unless my own ears are playing tricks on me._ Thought Lily, and she scurried in the direction Sirius' voice had come from.

She was just walking down the corridor of Gregory the Smarmy when she saw someone coming inside the castle. Lily stifled a yelp as she jumped behind the statue of Gregory.

As the person drew closer Lily realised who it was, Madam Pomfrey. She was muttering to herself and shaking her head as she walked past. Lily was sure she would be given away by the _boom, boom. Boom, boom. Boom, boom. _in her chest, but Madam Pomfrey seemed too distracted to notice anything. As soon as she was out of sight,Lily set off again.

She walked cautiously into the Entrance Hall, looking out for more teachers. She had justcaughther breathwhen there was a loud SPLAT! Water flew it every direction possible, spattering loudly on the window panes.

Her uniform now drenched, Lily looked down to see the remains of a large, orange, water balloon by her feet.

"PEEVES!" growled Lily. Sure enough, the poltergeist was hovering a few metres above her. Peeves cackled manically.

"Peeves, you'd better get out of here!Unless you want me to go get the Bloody Baron, and I mean it!"Peeves blew a long, loud, wet raspberry, made a rude handgesture,and zoomed off.

Fuming, It took a few seconds for Lily to regain her senses, but as soon as she did she shoved the doors to the castle open. They were surprisingly easy to push, and as she opened them light from the torches inside illuminated the ground in front of the doorway.

As Lily's eyes became accustomed to the darkness, she noticed something else odd. The Whomping Willow, though usually trying to attack anything within its vicinity, remained motionless.

_Forget the Whomping Willow, find **James**._ She reminded herself. Though there was no proof that he had gone outside,she somehow suspected, though without knowing why, that James had left the castle. Lily glanced across the grounds, and there was still no one to be seen. But…

What was that? Something four legged and shaggy was moving around the tree. From the same direction there was an odd, bone chilling, squeaking noise. Why was there a dog on the Hogwarts grounds? And how did-

Lily gasped. Abruptly, and out of nowhere, a stag had materialised. The squeaking got louder. She stared, all thoughts on James forgotten. Lily blinked and rubbed her eyes. _I must be dreaming_. She pinched herself. _Nope_.

What were these two large animals doing by the Whomping Willow? It seemedimpossible -not to mention crazy. AND WHAT WAS THAT ANNOYING SQUEAKING NOISE?

The black dog turned its head towards the castle. The squeaks finally stopped as the dog barked loudly, in a way Lily had never heard a dog bark before. It was also as if it was trying to say something.

Slowly but surely, as though it had understood the dog perfectly, the stag turned around too.

**A/N:** Yay! Climax chapter next! I'm exited! Are you exited? OK, you probably aren't, but whatever. Review anyway!


	9. Brilliant Hazel Eyes

**A/N:** I must be going insane! My dad has to go to work so I am using my HOME COMPUTER to type this chapter up (which I have already handwritten)! I am OBSESSED! This computer is so slow I've had to start up and shut down SIX TIMES! Yeah, anyways, I'm not sure if MWP&P went to the Shrieking Shack or not at full moon, but I'm saying that, this time at least, they did.

**Disclaimer:** If I were J.K.R. I'd be at Harbor Town. Or possibly Hawaii…

The stag just stared at her. It's brilliant hazel eyes bore into her own until they began to water. Yet she was entranced. She could not turn away.

It looked so… sad. _I know that look. I know those eyes. _The stag made to move towards her and the dog gave a low growl in its throat. Where had she seen this before?

"Who _are_ you?" she muttered, though she knew the stag was much too far away to hear her. It inclined its magnificent, antlered head slightly.

Something stirred in Lily's memory. _"…Sorry, we thought you were talking to him. See you up there, Prongs."_ Her eyes widened. _Prongs!_

"James?" murmured Lily, not taking her eyes off of his for a second. It seemed impossible, downright crazy, yet she knew as she said it that it was true.

The dog (or _was_ it a dog?) barked again. James remained frozen where he was as Lily drew closer, watching, waiting.

The dog barked its significant, booming bark once more. This time it jolted James back to earth. With an apologetic glance at the canine, he scrambled towards the still-frozen Whomping Willow and out of sight.

Freed from the spell James had been weaving around her (not that he had required a wand), Lily swayed on the spot, feeling slightly sick. Now, with James gone, her feeling of certainty about him was ebbing away. How was it possible that he was a stag? It was just stupid. But, still - she'd been so sure it was him!

More squeaky noises echoed from underneath her feet. Suddenly, without knowing why, she once again felt doubtless that the stag _was_ the student who had kissed her under the mistletoe just four days ago…

_Wait a minute! James! He, James… I was mad at him! He really was… I've got to apologize!_ And with that, Lily ran towards the tree, forgetting momentarily just which tree it was.

KERTHUMP! A branch as wide as a dustbin hit the ground, right where she'd been standing moments before. THWACK! Another hit her in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her. There was another THUD as a different branch got her from behind the knees, causing her to loose balance and fall into a pile of mud.

Cursing and wiping sludge off her face, Lily ran forwards again, around to the side of the tree that she'd seen the two animals disappear.

_Swoosh!_ A thin, whip-like branch shot past her, just missing her face and flicking her wrist as it went by. A gash appeared across her hand, spattering her cuff in blood. She winced, but bid her bottom lip and moved on.

Yet another thick branch came at her feet. She jumped. A wide, knobbly one came at her face from the right. She ducked. _I don't know how much longer I can keep this up! Maybe I should just give up now._

"Aaah!" Lily gasped in pain. She'd lost concentration for too long, and the whip-like branch had struck her on the side of the face. It spit of the situation at had, Lily grinned as she remembered the event almost two years previously at which James had sported a similar cut.

The knobbly branch came at her again from the right side, and this time it's aim was true. There was a sickening crunch as Lily felt her nose break. Warm blood spurted from both her nostrils.

The branch struck again, this time at her back, and she was shoved into the tree trunk. Too scared to move, Lily turned to face the Whomping Willow, letting her foot slide… slide?

She looked down and saw a cleverly disguised hole at the trunk of the tree, sloping steeply underneath the roots of the tree and out of sight – obviously where James and that dog had gone. Without a second thought, Lily crouched down and slid through the hole.

Dust and dirt settled on her, added to the collection of mud, water (from snow AND Peeves' water balloon) and blood all over her clothes. Her nose was still bleeding freely, so she pinched it, partly because of the bleeding and partly because of the horrible, musty smell. She started walking cautiously through the passageway.

It was cold, Lily was shivering and wished she'd thought to bring a jacket. But then again, she hadn't known she would be going outside when she left the Common room, and even if she had, her former rage probably would have distracted her too much to think of jackets, anyway.

It was also dark, and Lily had to squint it order to see. She began to feel around for her wand in her front pocked – she hadn't put her wand in her back pockets since she'd read somewhere that you could accidentally loose buttocks by sticking the wand in the back of your jeans.

"Lumos." Muttered Lily, her wand clenched in her cold, sweaty hand. A narrow beam of light appeared from her wands' tip, onto the soil in front of her. There was nothing to be seen but grimy, earth walls and an unstable looking ceiling with roots coming down every so often.

_What's a passage like this doing under the Whomping Willow? And where does it lead? Oh, I'm confused… that seems to be happening a lot tonight. _The only possible clue as to what lay at the end of the tunnel was that it seemed, though it was hard to tell underground, to be going in the general direction of Hogsmeade.

Every minute or so, odd noises came from the end of the path. There were yelps, thumps, growls, squeaks (the same noises she had heard earlier), crashes and even a sort of howl.

_What is James DOING up there?_ Thought Lily. _They sound like the noises I'm told come from the Shrieking Shack at night! Wait a minute…_ A sense of dread filled her as she guessed where the passageway she was in ended up.

"Oh, why me?" sighed Lily, still holding her nose in one hand and her wand in the other. However, she trudged on with the thought of apologizing to James in her head.

_And, once I've said sorry, it'll be a happy ending to this fiasco, and we'll happily start going out and forget about everything that happened tonight!_ She kept telling herself. And with that single, positive thought in her head, she turned a corner with the tunnel.

A couple more minutes passed. Lily's cut on her arm itched, she almost got knocked out by a giant root which had been dangling from the ceiling and a drop of water landed on her head – but apart from that, Lily just kept walking forwards through the passageway.

Lily shone her wand forwards once more and was shocked to find that a few paces ahead, the tunnel ended abruptly, without a door. A tear fell from Lily's eyes – she'd come all this way, risked all this, for nothing.

There was another thud from above her. Lily looked up to see a trapdoor. Praying it wouldn't open up to where she thought it was going to, she lifted the door and clambered up through it.

It seemed her prayers had _not_ been answered. She had never been in the Shrieking Shack before (who had?) but she knew just by looking around that she was inside it.

Furniture was strewn everywhere. Large chunks were torn out of different objects around the room. But how could ghosts create such a mess?

There was a yelp and Lily felt a jolt of panic. What _was_ in here? _James._ Lily reminded herself, but even that did not calm her. It was as though she'd only just truly realized where she was.

"I'm in the Shrieking Shack!" she moaned in despair. "The most severely haunted building in Britain! Oh, help me, God! Please, please help –" Lily screamed as the door on her right smashed open. She turned and saw, to her relief, that it was just James (who was still a stag).

"James!" said Lily, whose mood had changed very fast from fear to relief to happiness. That was more than she could say for him, however. His eyes had glazed over and he was swaying where he stood, looking very ill. But that wasn't the worst of it.

His right shoulder had been slashed by something. Lily guessed it was claws of some sort, as there were three long, separate cuts going in the same direction, towards his neck. He staggered in no direction in particular.

"J-James?" Lily stammered again. "Are… are you alright?" James blinked at her as though he only just realized she was there. He stared his penetrating stare for a few seconds, then looked from her still bleeding nose, to the large cut on her cheek, to her _very_ dirty clothes and jerked his eyes and head towards the trapdoor.

Though he couldn't use words, his meaning couldn't have been plainer. _Get back to the castle, Lily. Get back to safety._

"But what about _you_?" asked Lily, looked at his right shoulder with concern. The stag grimaced but jerked his head towards the trapdoor once more. Wondering why James himself wasn't leaving a place so clearly full of danger, she turned around slowly to the spot she'd come from.

"But-" she turned to face him again. His expression was not one of fear, or bravery. It was one of concern. For her. Sadly, she pulled open the door and jumped down onto the earth with a thud.

**A/N:** Phew! That's a long chapter for you! 1593 words, that was, WITHOUT the authors notes or disclaimer! Three more chapters to go, stay tuned!


	10. Pain, Misery and Guilt

**A/N:** OK, so I'm bored and am updating about an hour and a half after I posted the last chapter. This chapter's pretty short, It's just Lily reflecting on what's happened so far. I know what HAS happened is really stupid, so I'm flattered that people are reading and reviewing! (Like PremzaWitchOfWeirdos, russianchikk, xEngufledInDarknessx and rupertisahottie05! Thanks!)

**Disclaimer:** All I own is a small and limited brain, a fairly old piece of blu-tack and my sister (I won her off my parents in a family game of blackjack).

Lily sniffed, her lower lip trembling. Right now, James was facing whatever that blasted thing was in that damn house. And he was facing it _injured_.

Lily herself was fine, now. She'd gone up to the Hospital Wing straight after the incident in the grounds, and awkwardly explained to a sleepy Madam Pomfrey that she had "Been sleepwalking and tripped up." Madam Pomfrey had not been convinced, probably because she was wet and covered in dust, dirt and mud as well as blood. However, she had mended the cuts with a wave of her wand and shuffled back off to bed.

Now Lily lay in bed, with her nose just a little different than before and the patterns on her clothes no longer visible underneath all the stains. But she didn't care. James was hurt, possibly even more so than h had been when she'd last seen him. And worse of all, he probably hated her.

A tear rolled down Lily's cheek, off her nose and dripped onto her pillow. She' had risked so much to say sorry to him, but, like a total prat, she'd forgotten to in light of fear to herself.

_That's not true_. Piped up a voice at the back of her mind. _I cared about his wellbeing, too!_

_Yes,_ argued another, stronger part of her. _But you fled like a coward when he could have been, and may still be being, killed. And, anyway, there are worse things than physical hurt. _You_ killed him inside when you got man, and you know it. Now, when you had the chance to apologize, you left him to fend for himself!_

There was too much truth in this for Lily to bear. All the pain, misery and guilt inside her made her feel as though her insides were on fire. _He asked me to leave!_ She told herself. _He told me to go!_

_Ahh, but he didn't actually _ask_ you to leave, now, did he? He just made motions towards the exit. He might have been asking you if you thought the trapdoor tasted like cheese, for all you know! And you left him by himself!_ Said her conscience.

_But he wasn't by himself - that black dog was with him!_

_That black dog could have been the thing that hurt his shoulder!_ That argumentative side of her said.

_No, it wasn't the dog! James was hanging around with the dog earlier, and it wasn't touching him!_ She practically begged for forgiveness from herself. Her conscience seemed to think she'd felt guilty enough for one day, however, and remained silent.

Lily let out a sob. Would James ever forgive her for this? Not only had she slapped him, hated him and ignored him, but now she had left him alone with that… thing! She didn't know if _she'd_ ever be able to pardon herself!

_I deserve to be with that monster, not James._ She thought dully. _He's done nothing wrong, and I've don, well, everything wrong. Oh, I hate myself._ Lily rolled over and sniffed sadly again. She felt worse than she had ever felt in her life – including the time she'd had to meet her sister's fat, gag-worthy boyfriend, Vernon.

There was a rotten, aching hole inside her, which she knew could only be filled if James forgave her, which would never happen now. Tomorrow, though, she would say her sorry. And if he didn't accept it, which he had every right to do, Lily knew she deserved it.

**A/N: **In the script that follows, I will say everything I want to say and probably everything you want to say to me, too.

Me: (to the tune of 'I like short shorts') Who hates short chapters?

You: (to the tune of 'I like short shorts') I hate short chapters!

Me: Anywho, Next we're back to James… do you think he _really_ hates her?

You: OF COURSE HE FREAKING DOESN'T! HE'S LOVED HER SINCE FOREVER!

Me: Am I really that predictable?


	11. A Horrible Feeling

**A/N:** Yipes! How da yell did I get so many reviews last chapter? I need to thank SO many people, cause you're all soooo nice to review. rupertisahottie05, EboniteEvans, Rachel (anon), Rich (anon), CharZ, zippyfox, PremzaWitchOfWeirdos, Green Animelover, sumerluck2, russianchikk and angelofthedarklight. Hokay, so I'm not sure what the Marauders would do after full moon, so, inspired by one of my many on there, it's AWESOME) pictures, I'm gunna make them visit Moony in the Hospital Wing.

**Disclaimer:** As far as I know, J.K.Rowling isn't still in school!

"James, why's your shirt collar all weird?" asked Remus, who was helping himself to chocolate.

"You slashed him last night." Said Sirius before James could reply.

"Ah."

"And I can't let any teachers see, cause it'll raise awkward questions." Said James gloomily.

"Sorry." Said Remus quickly.

"It's not your fault." James winced as he rubbed his right shoulder. "But it _did_ hurt."

"Sorry." Repeated Remus.

"It's OK. I was kind of distracted anyway." Said James.

"I wonder why?" said Remus sarcastically. Sirius and Peter laughed and James scowled.

"I'm guessing Lily went back up to the castle?" asked Peter.

"Lily?" Remus sat bolt upright. "She didn't, you know, see me?"

"Nah." Said Sirius. "She just saw us by the Whomping Willow – I'll bet she went off back to bed as soon as we came down the tunnel. It's not like she followed us or anything." James gulped. He hadn't gotten around to telling the others who he had seen in the Shrieking Shack the night before.

"Er, about that. Um…" Sirius, Remus and Peter turned around to look at him. He gulped again. "She, er, she kind of _did_ follow us."

"WHAT?" exploded Remus.

"She… huh?" said Peter.

"Didn't the Whomping Willow pummel her into the ground?" asked Sirius.

"That's what I thought, dunno how she escaped alive. She really is an extraordinary witch." James sighed. "An extraordinary witch who's probably sticking pins into a little doll of me as we speak"

"Why? You kissed her!" asked Peter, looking confused.

"Uhhh, let's think." Said Sirius in tones of mock thought. "First he gets her head over heels in love with him by kissing her and asking her out, then he breaks her heart by saying he can't make it anymore and she thinks he stood her up, THEN, on the night on which their date was supposed to take place, he almost gets her killed by a tree and a mad werewolf!" Remus glared at him. "No offence, Moony." He added quickly.

"Oh." Said Peter. "Right."

"I'm going to kill that effing moon!" said James viciously. It was a mark of how sorry they all felt for him that Remus didn't point out that killing the moon wasn't physically possible. "I feel terrible."

"Have some chocolate, you'll feel better." Said Remus, holding out a chocolate frog.

"Can't – I'd probably just throw it up again."

"Poor James is having a really rough week." Said Sirius. Peter patted him on the shoulder sympathetically.

"Ow! You git!" yelled James, massaging the right side of his collarbone.

"Oops. Sorry." Remus shook his head.

"Wormtail, why must you be so stupid?"

"I dunno." Peter shrugged.

"It was a rhetorical question." Said Sirius, rolling his eyes.

"A what?"

"A question which doesn't require an answer." Said Remus.

"Dimwit!" coughed Sirius. "Hey, Prongs, do you… Are you OK?"

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Apart from the fact that when I finally got everything I wanted (and more) with the woman I love, she ended up hating my guts, I'm fantastic."

"You should-" began Peter

"I think I fancy a walk." Said James. He stood up and left the hospital wing with a horrible feeling inside him

How could Lily ever speak to him again after this? A simple sorry wouldn't go far, she'd still despise him. It'd just be back to normal; He'd love her, she'd hate him. But this time there'd be no chance of winning her in the end.

**A/N:** Oh, this is so much fun! Lily loves James, but thinks James hates her. James loves Lily, but thinks Lily hates HIM! How d'you reckon they'll both react when they find out? Review and let me know!


	12. A Happy and Mushy Ending

**A/N:** Ahhh! Sorry about the whole Chapter 11/ Chapter 12 fiasco. Just so you know, my computer kept stuffing up whenever I posted chapter 11 (it wouldn't show up) so I had to make chap. 11 chap. 12… BUT THEN MY COMPUTER SHOWED CHAPTER 11 AND MADE ME LOOK LIKE A TOTAL IDIOT BECAUSE I'D POSTED THE SAME CHAPTER TWICE! Yes… uh, my last ever thanks (or maybe not – check the authors notes at the end!) go to Fred's Girl 4 ever, pixiestixx, summerluck2, potterlurvesginny, Hermione Jane Malfoy, EmmaandDanielFan, computerboy, DANI, EboniteEvans, notquiteblonde31, Girl of the stars, pinkalarmclock, WhiteCamellia, Eleanor, IceFire9, zippyfox, rachel, Whitelight72, chocolatefrogs07, brown-eyed angelofmusic, scowlingpixie, Gwenog Jones, PremzaWitchOfWeirdos and VODE. And I thought I had lots of reviews _last_ time!Thanks for reviewing, even if you were just saying I posted the same chapter twice!

**Dislclaimer:** Per-lease.

_Just say sorry!_

_He won't except it!_

_You've got to try!_

_I can't!_

The battle had been raging on inside Lily's head for hours.

_You'll never have the chance of him forgiving you if you don't apologize!_ This thought rang true to Lily. James forgiveness – how wonderful would that be? And her conscience was right, she had to try. Gathering herself up, she walked over to the 'marauders' armchairs.

"Er, James?" she began, hoping he wouldn't yell. But he only blinked up at her blearily.

"Me?" he said in a disbelieving voice, a tiny flicker of hope in his brown eyes.

"Come to slap him for something else?" asked Sirius coolly. Both Lily and James glared at him. Then James turned back to her.

"Could I, um, have a moment?" she asked, gesturing at armchairs on the other side of the common room.

"No problem." Sighed James, so together they walked across the room. Lily sat down beside the crackling fire. Dispiritedly, James flopped down onto the chair opposite her. As he did so, his shirt collar shifted, revealing his right shoulder to Lily. Too late, he tried to cover it…

"I thought you would've been to the hospital wing by now!" Lily yelped.

"Shh!" James shushed her, although there were only six other people in the common room. "I can't. I… wasn't supposed to be out there last night."

"Then why _were_ you? What on earth were you doing in there? James, _what_ was that thing that hurt you?" she asked.

James hesitated. "Remus." He said softly.

"WHAT?" exclaimed Lily. "He didn't… Remus?"

"Yeah, he did, but he didn't mean to, it was an accident. I can't tell-"

"An ACCIDENT? How can slicing your neck open be an accident?"

"Keep your voice down! Look, he can't help it, he's a-" James stopped, looking furious with himself.

"He's a what?" Lily's mind was spinning.

Remus? But he's always so pleasant! And a prefect! It's just so unlike him to do something horrible like that, especially to one of his friends. James said he couldn't help it, but how could it be accidental unless something was, like, possessing him? And if something WAS possessing him, how did James know when it was going to happen, when he cancelled our date? And then, who would possess him in the middle of the night?

And then it clicked. Remus' mysterious illness. The howls at the end of the tunnel. Madam Pomfrey coming back up to the castle. The destruction in the Shreiking Shack. Lily gasped.

"A werewolf?" she asked weakly. "He's a _werewolf_?"

"Shut up!" hissed James. Lily had forgotten entirely about her apology.

"So _that's_ why he kept looking up at the sky during dinner! But I still don't get it. How did you become a …_stag_?" James grinned.

"Sorry, Lily. Can't tell you that." But Lily glared at him so hard that his smile faltered.

"I'll figure it out anyway." She told him. James sighed again.

"I guess you're right. I'm – we're – unregistered Animagi."

"WHAT? But that's against the law!"

"Going to turn us in to the ministry?"

"Of course not. But that's really, really advanced magic! You're just lucky you haven't been left with antlers permanently!"

"There was a compliment somewhere in all those accusations, and for that, I thank you." Lily frowned.

"So I guess Sirius was that dog?"

"Uh-huh."

"Then where was Peter?"

"Couldn't you see him? I guess he was quite small – he was a rat."

"So you, Sirius and Peter, in the form of a stag, a dog and a rat, go to Hogsmeade every full moon to hang out with Remus, who's a WEREWOLF?" she gaped.

"Er, yeah. Pretty much."

"But that's really dangerous! What if one of you got bitten?" said Lily. James laughed.

"We're too fast. The closest we've ever gotten to being bitten is last night, you choose a bad night to follow us."

"You chose a bad night to ask me out." muttered Lily, and James grinned again.

"Now, can I ask _you_ something?"

"You just did." Said Lily. James smiled in a sarcastic kind of way.

"How did you know that I was the stag out there?" Lily flushed. She wasn't too keen on letting James know that she could recognize his eyes as those of the one she fancied, but, worst of all, she had just been reminded of the purpose of the conversation.

"I dunno. I kind of just… knew."

"Right, whatever. And, why did you follow us? Were you still angry?"

"No." said Lily truthfully. "I wanted to apologize." James looked confused.

"Apologize? Apologize for what?"

"_Apologize for WHAT_? For being so rude to you when you couldn't help the fact that you were busy! For following you out of pure spite and hatred! For doubting you when you told me the truth! And for leaving you when, for all I knew, you were being KILLED out there! Apologize for that!"

James was looking at her with a funny expression on his face.

"You risked your life to say sorry?"

"Risked my life?" asked Lily, her eyebrows raised.

"You knew that tree was the Whomping Willow as well as I did." Lily blushed again.

"I can take on a tree." She said more lightly than she felt.

"Well, you have every right to, you know, hate me and everything - but now you mention it, _I'm_ sorry. " Now it was Lily's turn to feel confused. What did James need to apologize for?

"I could've got you seriously hurt last night." He continued.

"What? It's not _your_ fault I followed you! I'm to blame for everything that happened last night. I'm so, so sorry, James." James looked relieved.

"It's OK. Truce?" he held out his hand for her to shake, but she only stared at it in amazement.

"How can you possibly just forgive me for something like this?" she asked, dumbfounded. James smiled.

"It wasn't your fault. And besides," James took a deep breath. "I love you, Lily Evans."

Lily merely sat there, gaping at him. A wonderful feeling was coursing through her body. She wanted to ask "You do?" but her mouth couldn't find the words.

"Now, where's that stuff when you need it?" said James casually, checking his jacket pockets. "Ahh, forget it. Accio mistletoe!" Lily looked up. A clump of white berries was speeding towards them from the boys staircase. She laughed.

"But it's not even Christmas!"

"Who cares?" asked James, pulling her to her feet.

And, as Lily felt, for the third time in her life, a wonderful, warm sensation spread throughout her while wrapped in James' strong arms, she knew she loved him, too. With all her heart.

**A/N:** Hee hee! Cheesy ending! Wow, ending – I can't believe it! Less than two months ago I posted the first chapter! Sob. I'm going to miss writing this, that's why I'm going to do a sequel. It'll be a few weeks before I post it, though, cause here in Australia, the new school year's about to start, and I need to do all that boring text book shopping and uniform sorting. Yeah, anyway, I know it _was_ kind of still the fifth day of Christmas, but it sounded a lot better for James to say "Who cares?" than "It's still the fifth day of Christmas.". So there. Before I go, I've got a couple of things I wanna say to you guys, so…

**To all my reveiwers:**

Every single one of you guys are awesome. The best thing that can possibly happen to me is for my inbox to have an email in it from with the subject 'Review Alert'. An extra special thanks to xEngulfedInDarknessx, rupertisahottie05, EboniteEvans, russianchikk and PremzaWitchOfWeirdos. You guys started reading and reviewing in early chapters and have stuck with me ever since.

Until Next Time,

Dudette 13.


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